Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Luna: Without a Trace

Everybody loves a mystery, especially at my house. One of my moms is addicted to all of those crime shows on tv. Rarely a night goes by when I don't hear that "ka-boom-boom" theme on a Law & Order show, especially SVU. Well, seems I created a real life mystery at our house last night. My mom Susan wanted garlic bread for dinner so she removed a loaf from the freezer, took it out of it's package and put it on the kitchen counter. Then she left the room. I couldn't believe it! She just left it there. In plain sight. At first, I thought she might be testing me. I wandered close to the counter, expecting her to dart around the corner and yell, "No, Luna"....a phrase I hear way too much, by the way...but she didn't. So, I went for it, the whole loaf and ran off with it. She didn't even chase me. Using my paws, I held it down and ate the whole thing. Dee-lish...as Chef Rachel Ray often says. (That's another of our favorite shows.) The best part: NOBODY CAUGHT ME. And here's the hysterical part: As I go back into the bedroom where they are packing bags for their vacation, I notice I have garlic butter all over my paws. So, I start licking it off. My mom Louise notices what I'm doing. "Why is Luna licking her paw?", she asks. They check me out and I just keep licking so they don't smell the garlic. Mom Susan even bends down and takes my paw in her hand to see if anything is wrong. "Did she burn it on the grill?", suggests Mom Louise. They actually think I'm dumb enough to jump up on the hot barbeque grill! Gees Louise! I'm still licking by the way. Now they are convinced I've burned myself. They go into the kitchen to see if there are telltale signs of my jumping up on the stove. They should know I'm smarter than that. I love my moms but they aren't very good detectives. Soon, they give up figuring out why I'm licking my paw. Time passes. The steaks are almost done on the grill. I'm lounging out on the patio with my mom Louise when Susan comes out and I can see the light bulb has gone off in her brain. "I know why Luna was licking her foot. It just dawned on me. The garlic bread is missing. I've been looking all over for it. I even doubled checked the freezor because I questioned whether I actually took it out or not. Luna stole the garlic bread off the counter and ATE IT! She didn't burn her paw. She had garlic butter all over it!" Well, I was busted. I tried to pretend I didn't know what she was talking about. But, be honest, how stupid were they? It wasn't my fault that they left the bread there unattended where I could easily steal it. I thought about trying some "bread of life" excuse but I knew mom Susan wouldn't absolve me. Once again, I was put behind bars to pay for my crime....but, hey, I got a good laugh on them. And isn't that what a dog's life is all about?

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