Friday, July 07, 2006
Harvey: Prison Break!!!!!!
I'm in BIG trouble. I broke through my new dog "spa" door and my moms FREAKED OUT!!!!! It's a huge chain link dog kennel that took two strapping big men to put up. I confess, I went nuts after I heard a firecraker mid-day and the words "gimme shelter" took on new meaning. Okay....I was scared. I admit it. I'm a metrosexual dog who can talk about his feelings and frankly, I was scared shitless!!! I hate firecrackers and they know it. They also know stupid people in our 'hood shoot them off 24/7 for a week before and after the 4th. They never should have put me in the position of turning into the dog of steel, leaping buildings at a single bound, etc.,etc. I heard that bang and I tore the chain link fence apart. Shed a liitle blood in the process, too. But mostly, I made a small hole and crawled through it unscathed, except for some hyperventilated breathing. When my mom got home and found me in the yard, she was livid! Not at all sensitive to my need to be comforted from the elements. They think I'm not listening when they ask each other, 'What are we going to do with Harvey?" Ban all fireworks is my answer! Make the world safe for aging, phobic animals like me! Is that too much to ask in my old age? I can't help it that I'm afraid. I'm not destructive on purpose. I'm a lover boy. But July is my most miserable month. Next year (if I'm still around by then) PLEASE send me to I Dig My Dog where we never are threatened by fireworks. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee.
Posted by SUSAN RUSSELL at 3:00 PM