Luna: I'm Still Here!

She said it was the last straw and for a minute I thought she really meant it. It's not even like they even tasted that good or were much fun to chew but there they were ... my mom's new reading glasses right on the nightstand and she left me alone and bored while she went to take a shower and my OTHER mom was away at some retreat thing so there was nobody to play with and nobody to watch me and before I knew it there was a crunch-crunch-crunch and then a shriek-shriek-shriek and the glasses were history and I was SOOOO busted.

I mean, I was in REALLY big trouble ... this was MUCH worse than the garlic bread -- or even Jamie's going-away cake. I was out in the Gulag (that's what Harvey and I call the chain link dog run they put up for us) for a really long time when I overheard my mom on the phone ordering a new pair of glasses. Luckily for me there was some kind of warranty thing so I guess it could have been worse but for a minute there the conversation took an ugly turn when my mom started asking the reading glass lady if she wanted a dog. Cheap.

I figured she was kidding ... at least I HOPED she was kidding ... and I guess she was because eventually she took pity on me and let me out and fed me again and pretty much all was forgiven. And I'm going to try to be better ... I really am. But for now she's keeping the new glasses up on top of the bookcase which is really working out better for everybody concerned because they're still here ... and so am I!

Harvey & Luna: Cartoon Du Jour

Luna: Without a Trace

Everybody loves a mystery, especially at my house. One of my moms is addicted to all of those crime shows on tv. Rarely a night goes by when I don't hear that "ka-boom-boom" theme on a Law & Order show, especially SVU. Well, seems I created a real life mystery at our house last night. My mom Susan wanted garlic bread for dinner so she removed a loaf from the freezer, took it out of it's package and put it on the kitchen counter. Then she left the room. I couldn't believe it! She just left it there. In plain sight. At first, I thought she might be testing me. I wandered close to the counter, expecting her to dart around the corner and yell, "No, Luna"....a phrase I hear way too much, by the way...but she didn't. So, I went for it, the whole loaf and ran off with it. She didn't even chase me. Using my paws, I held it down and ate the whole thing. Dee-lish...as Chef Rachel Ray often says. (That's another of our favorite shows.) The best part: NOBODY CAUGHT ME. And here's the hysterical part: As I go back into the bedroom where they are packing bags for their vacation, I notice I have garlic butter all over my paws. So, I start licking it off. My mom Louise notices what I'm doing. "Why is Luna licking her paw?", she asks. They check me out and I just keep licking so they don't smell the garlic. Mom Susan even bends down and takes my paw in her hand to see if anything is wrong. "Did she burn it on the grill?", suggests Mom Louise. They actually think I'm dumb enough to jump up on the hot barbeque grill! Gees Louise! I'm still licking by the way. Now they are convinced I've burned myself. They go into the kitchen to see if there are telltale signs of my jumping up on the stove. They should know I'm smarter than that. I love my moms but they aren't very good detectives. Soon, they give up figuring out why I'm licking my paw. Time passes. The steaks are almost done on the grill. I'm lounging out on the patio with my mom Louise when Susan comes out and I can see the light bulb has gone off in her brain. "I know why Luna was licking her foot. It just dawned on me. The garlic bread is missing. I've been looking all over for it. I even doubled checked the freezor because I questioned whether I actually took it out or not. Luna stole the garlic bread off the counter and ATE IT! She didn't burn her paw. She had garlic butter all over it!" Well, I was busted. I tried to pretend I didn't know what she was talking about. But, be honest, how stupid were they? It wasn't my fault that they left the bread there unattended where I could easily steal it. I thought about trying some "bread of life" excuse but I knew mom Susan wouldn't absolve me. Once again, I was put behind bars to pay for my crime....but, hey, I got a good laugh on them. And isn't that what a dog's life is all about?

Luna: Looking At My Family Tree

This is my dog dad ...


It's a really hot day and nobody felt like throwing a ball or going to the dog park or anything so my mom was going through the "my pictures" file on the computer and showed me these pictures she found from my "family tree":










And this is my dog mom ...

And this is me! Which doggie-tree do you think this little apple fell the closest to ... my mom or my dad? (I think I look a little like both of them!)

Harvey: So How Fair is THIS???

I mean, really -- I know there are cat rules and then there are dog rules but these cats are out of control. We barely put our NOSE up on the counter to check out whether there's a scrap left for us to nibble on or some crumbs that need cleaning up and it's "OFF! -- Bad Dog -- Outside" and the next thing you know you're out in the noon day sun where everybody knows only mad dogs and Englishmen go willingly and I'm neither.

(OK -- I get a little crazy with the fireworks ... the whole world seems to know about THAT now, but I'm not exactly "mad" ... at least not in the mad dogs and Englishmen sense of the word.)

So I digress -- I'm thinking the occasional doggie nose on the counter is not NEARLY such a big deal as these cats who seem to think they own the world, jump on and off the counter at will and then hiss and swat at you when all you do is just walk by them minding your own business. Maybe we could get a little email letter-writing campaign going -- our moms seem to pay attention to those -- they're not paying a BIT of attention to us about this at the moment and I'm sayin' it's a justice issue.

Luna: I don't ALWAYS chase the cats!

I think some people around here (who will remain nameless or they'll take this blog away from me) are suffering from some unrealistic expectations. I mean really ... I'm a puppy, OK? I know I've gotten pretty big and I kind of LOOK like a grown up dog but I'm not even EIGHT MONTHS OLD YET! All the dog books say you can't expect me to quit chewing things and being my wild child self for at least another six months or so.

That said, I wanted to share this picture as a ray of hope that I actually WILL settle down someday ... and as a case-in-point that I don't spend ALL my time chasing the cats (who deserve it some of the time, but that's for another blog) and that sometimes we just curl up and take a nice nap in the same place at the same time and nobody gets hurt. Or chased. Or hissed at.

All for now. Time for my siesta -- and since it's supposed to be 105 here in Pasadena siestas are the only thing on my agenda du jour -- it's already too hot to even muster up the energy to go looking for more shoes to chew!

Harvey: Another Miracle Story

You've all probably heard about how my brother, Walden, is a miracle cat. While he was on "special assignment" at our friend Hope's house to catch a pesky rat in her kitchen, he bolted out the only open window by pushing out the screen. Then he was lost for a month. He managed to elude a cute "pet detective" and her blood hound, Ellie Mae, who searched the entire neighborhood and caught his scent but not him. (I bet he was hiding out and watching and laughed himself silly at my mom, Louise, chasing the pet detective and the bloodhound, wearing the sound detector headset and a bright orange pet rescue jacket.) Anyway, a nice couple who had seen the "Lost Cat" signs found Walden about two miles from Hope's house. They say he was on his way back to our place....but frankly, I find that a little too "Incredible Journey"-Disney-movie-ish myself. I think he was just plain lost. But, it was a happy ending for all. Here's another story with a happy ending for a dog. Enjoy.

Missing dog found nearly a week after plane crash

Somis, Calif. (AP) --
Six days after a small plane crash that killed two members of a family four, the family's missing dog was found alive by the same pair of teenage brothers who first helped the survivors.
Family friends had been searching for Lindsey, a 9-year-old Dalmation who had been on the plane but was not found at the crash site.
"We were called loonies," said Bob Jansen, who along with his wife Shirley had spent much of the week looking for Lindsey. "They told us we were searching for a dead dog."
Rene Herrera, 17, and his brother Edgar Herrera, 15, had returned to the scene 35 miles north of Los Angeles Friday to show friends the place where they had pulled Robert Santoro, 43, and his 7-year-old son Dawson away from the flaming plane on July 1.
The brothers and their friends saw Lindsey in a ditch.
"We all started running towards the dog," Rene Herrera said. "We all took turns cradling it like a baby and we took it home."
The dog had a ruptured diaphragm and a broken leg, and underwent surgery at a Santa Barbara animal hospital Saturday, Jansen said.
Robert Santoro, who was flying the plane and was thrown from the aircraft along with Dawson before it came to rest, remained in critical condition in a Santa Barbara hospital after nearly having his leg severed in the crash, authorities said.
Karen Santoro, 43, and 5-year-old son Ian were killed.
Dawson Santoro had only minor injuries.
"The family's gone through hell on earth, and this is one tiny bright spot," Jansen said. "We can give the family a 55-pound piece of good news."

Harvey & Luna: Keep Casper in your prayers

Girl and pet dog share same cancer ordeal
Daily Mail July 10,2006

When little Emily Kearney was diagnosed with cancer, her parents decided to get her the dog she had always wanted to help her through.
They heard about Casper, an adorable Yorkshire terrier who needed rehoming, and immediately fell in love with him.
When six-year-old Emily came home after five months of intensive chemotherapy for Burkitt's lymphoma, the two became inseparable and Casper gave her the strength to beat the disease.
Now six years on, in an extraordinarily cruel coincidence, Casper has been diagnosed with the same cancer that Emily had.
Just as he did for her when she was ill, Emily, now 12, is making sure the dog she calls her 'brother' has all the love in the world to help him get better.
Me and Emily just broke down when we heard," her mother Jackie, 42, said.
"When I was told about Emily's lymphoma it was like having your insides ripped out and when I was told about Casper, briefly I got that same feeling.
"Emily was heartbroken, we have to reassure her that he's going to get better. I said: "You've done it, you've survived."
I think it reassures her, the fact that she can compare his with hers and she knows she survived."
Emily was diagnosed with lymphoma in February 2000 after her mum took her to the dentist because one of her adult teeth was loose.
Tests discovered a tumour on her jaw then more in her stomach and kidney and she was sent straight to Newcastle's Royal Victoria Infirmary to start her treatment.
But after nearly five months of chemotherapy, Emily returned to the family home in Sunderland and her mother and father Mark, 44, decided to get a dog to help her recover.
"Emily has always loved dogs and always dreamed of having one but we couldn't really get one because we both worked," said Mrs Kearney.
"My mum has always had dogs so she's been around them since she was a baby. When she was in hospital, obviously no dogs could visit so we put up a picture of her nana's dog and our neighbour's dog to make her feel better.
"We decided to get her a dog when she came out, even if it meant I had to cut down on my hours, to help her recover."
Mrs Kearney, a classroom support assistant, and her husband, a painter and decorator, both work for the Tyne and Wear Autistic Society.
They heard about Casper through a kennel in Hartlepool. His owner's personal circumstances had changed and he needed a new home.
He arrived two weeks after Emily came home and the pair hit it off from the start.
Diagnosis
Casper, now ten, was diagnosed with lymphoma two weeks ago after Mrs Kearney noticed a lump on his neck.
They have been told his prognosis is good.
He goes to Roker Park Veterinary Practice once a week, where a drip is put in his paw and he is given intravenous chemotherapy treatment and has tablets every other day.
Casper is treated with cyclophosphamide to try to reduce the tumour on his neck - the same drug that Emily was given.
"I'm an only child so he's my brother and I'm his sister," Emily said. "He's been heaven sent. It was great when we got him. He made me so happy. He helped me to recover.
"I was heartbroken when he got ill. I make sure I give him lots of attention and cuddles. I feel like it's going to be all right."
Mrs Kearney added: "I always say he found us. He would snuggle up to Emily in front of the fire. Even for myself and my husband he was a focus. He's an absolute sweetheart. We love him to bits."
Burkitt's lymphoma is a type of Non-Hodgkins lymphoma which affects lymphocytes - a type of white blood cell - which are found in the blood and in lymph glands.
There are about 32 cases of Burkitt's lymphoma in children a year in the UK.
There is not any connection between Emily and Casper's illnesses.
The Kearneys scoured rescue homes for a suitable pet for their daughter.
"We wanted a mature dog who was good with children, happy to be left at home and who was small enough for Emily to carry. We couldn't find anything right and then out of the blue a kennel called us about Casper.
"Emily had not met him until he came to visit us one Sunday and he never left. He ran up the stairs as soon as he came in and his owner said, 'He's happy here. This is the right place for him.'
"He's such a lovely dog and we spoil him rotten. He's hand-fed and likes sausages and bacon."
Casper's treatment, which is due to last two months, is expected to cost £1,000. The family do not have pet insurance.
"I couldn't care less if it was £1,000 a week, I would still pay it," said Mrs Kearney.

Luna: I Did the Crime, Now I'm Doing the Time

Does anybody know what "Indeterminate Sentence" means?

It started out as a pretty good day. My human brother, Jamie (who would rather be called "Jim" but my mom can't seem to remember that) was home on leave from the Army and since he's getting ready to go to somewhere called Kuwait, there was a going away party at our house. I like parties -- more people to pet me and more crumbs to pick up if I'm lucky. If I'd have settled for the crumbs it would have been OK, but no ... I just couldn't resist ... while they were all out on the patio there was that decorated cake in on the dining room table practically begging to be eaten ... and so ... well ... you can see what happened. I wonder how long "til hell freezes over" is?

Harvey: Prison Break!!!!!!

I'm in BIG trouble. I broke through my new dog "spa" door and my moms FREAKED OUT!!!!! It's a huge chain link dog kennel that took two strapping big men to put up. I confess, I went nuts after I heard a firecraker mid-day and the words "gimme shelter" took on new meaning. Okay....I was scared. I admit it. I'm a metrosexual dog who can talk about his feelings and frankly, I was scared shitless!!! I hate firecrackers and they know it. They also know stupid people in our 'hood shoot them off 24/7 for a week before and after the 4th. They never should have put me in the position of turning into the dog of steel, leaping buildings at a single bound, etc.,etc. I heard that bang and I tore the chain link fence apart. Shed a liitle blood in the process, too. But mostly, I made a small hole and crawled through it unscathed, except for some hyperventilated breathing. When my mom got home and found me in the yard, she was livid! Not at all sensitive to my need to be comforted from the elements. They think I'm not listening when they ask each other, 'What are we going to do with Harvey?" Ban all fireworks is my answer! Make the world safe for aging, phobic animals like me! Is that too much to ask in my old age? I can't help it that I'm afraid. I'm not destructive on purpose. I'm a lover boy. But July is my most miserable month. Next year (if I'm still around by then) PLEASE send me to I Dig My Dog where we never are threatened by fireworks. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee.

Luna: Harvey Did It!

Last night our moms went out and left us with Reynaldo, the dogsitter. They went to the Altadena Country Club for the annual picnic and fireworks dinner. Because Harvey is such a wuss and afraid of any loud bang around the 4th, we had to have a dogsitter. How humiliating! I don't need a dogsitter to cramp my style. I'd have been perfectly happy to doze in the kitchen and harrass any cat that tried to jump off the counter....but oh no....we had Reynaldo watching every move. Harvey is such a baby! He curled up beside Reynaldo and acted as if everything were fine. Firecarckers.....my tail!!!! Not to mention that Reynaldo sat on the couch....my favorite lounging spot these days. So, needless to say, I was bored. For fun, I snuck into the bedroom to see what my mom (I won't say which one always leaves her clothes and shoes all over the floor) had pulled out of her drawers and closet. She took at least an hour to find just the right red, white and blue ensemble to wear, so I figured lots of stuff got thrown on the floor in the process. I was right. I found a red sandal. Hummm....I wonder why she didn't wear this. I carried it out into the living room to see if Reynaldo was paying attention and would yell at me. He was watching tv. I hid the shoe behind the couch. Then I figured it was time for a stealth trip to the kitchen. Good, he didn't see me. I hoisted my front paws up on the counter to survey the territory. Not much. I was about to leave when I spied on the other counter....right by the toaster...on top of a few cookbooks, the bag from breakfast. The one that had donuts in it. We had stopped at the donut shop on the way home from the dog park. There was still a donut in the bag. I swooped up and grabbed it and heard a ker-plunck! It was the toaster. I had knocked it over. I was in for trouble. I peaked around the corner to see if Reynaldo heard the crash but he didn't. I think he was watching Nascar. Anyway, I ran into the back bedroom and devoured the remaining donut and most of the paper bag. Gosh, that just whetted my appetite! At about that moment, Baby, the ornery cat...who hates me....scampered into the bedroom. She took one look at me and let out her best growl. It sounds like a muffled lawn mower. I backed off. She's too unpredictable to mess with. She strolled out of the room, giving me a disctinctive, don't-ever-mess-with-me-again look. I was pissed off, to say the least. So I went over to her bed...which she never sleeps in by the way, and pulled out the sheepskin pillow. I tore it into a hundred little pieces. I showed her who is boss in this house. About that time, my moms came home. Reynaldo left and they fussed over wussy Harvey. Had he heard any fireworks? Was he upset? He was fine! Then they discovered the sheepskin massacre. "Luna you are a BAD DOG!" Oh, Oh, I was kicked out of the house. It didn't last long tho' because they think I'm too cute to punish me for long. Soon, I was back in and given a dog bone. What a life! And here's the best part, they didn't discover the donut was gone until the next moring. One of the moms said, "Oh, I'm sure Harvey ate it. He likes to jump up on the counter when we're gone." So, they think he ate it. Hee hee. This having a dog sitter didn't turn out so bad after all.

Harvey: So What's Up With Fireworks?

So what's the point of fireworks, that's what I want to know. I know I have a bad rep in this family when it comes to loud noises but I just don't get it -- what's the point? Every year around this 4th of July thing and then around New Year's the humans in this neighborhood start blowing things up. Rumor has it they're at the top of the evolutionary ladder but on days like this I start to wonder.

Every time I turn around it's bang, crash, BOOM ... I'm trying to cope but they pretty much just drive me over the edge. I'm really working on this but it ends up getting on my last-dog-nerve (and yes, I AM on medication, thanks for asking) and something ends up chewed up, dug up or otherwise damaged, destroyed or altered.

I still feel bad about that garage door. And I know eventually the mommies are planning to get the molding around the kitchen door replaced -- and probably that window frame, too -- and the screen -- but at this point I guess they're figuring "he's old ... let's wait a while."

So I'm gonna try. Honest. But if you can step away from the bottle rockets then I can guarantee nothing will get hurt!

Luna: Hot Dog

OK ... I know I'm not allowed on the furniture but it's HOT today -- can we make an exception?

Luna: Star & Stripes

It's 100 degrees here today. Too hot for much of anything except to lie around where my moms are hanging out. They are watching a tivo of Star Jones on Larry King Live. My mom Louise has been a tv talk show producer so she likes to keep up on all the latest. She predicted Star Jones was history on The View the minute they hired Rosie O'Donnell to replace Meredith Viera. In case you haven't heard, Meredith is replacing Katie Couric on the Today show. (We wake up to Today every morning and I never get fed until after Al has told us to check out the weather in our neck of the woods.) Anyway, getting back to Star, apparently Rosie had blasted her for not telling the truth about her gastic bypass. Star claimed to lose 150 lbs. in a few months by pilates and diet. Even I don't believe that! I'm not really sure what a gastic bypass is ....I don't think dogs have things like that....although Harvey often has some pretty bad gastric blasts. Anyway, Louise was saying something about needing a shovel if she continued to watch Star be so nice on Larry. I think she called her a ....was it...a witch? That's cause my mom worked with Star during the O.J. Simpson trial. Most people don't know my mom has a law degree. She told me she thought O.J. was "guilty as hell." That means he should be behind bars, wearing prision stripes. Harvey told me her went with our mom to Camp O.J. in Santa Monica during the trial. Wow that must have been fun! He thought O.J. was guilty too.

So, that's the discussion at our house today.....Star and stripes.....kinda fits into the holiday weekend, doesn't it?